Chapter 7: Renesmee

Chapter 7: Renesmee
“Finished?

“Yes, I think so. Thank you.”

“You're welcome. Here, let me help you up.”

“Ugh! I don't know how you're still attracted to me. I look like a whale!”

Edward smiled. “No you don't. You look beautiful.”

I huffed, taking his offered hand and turning my back on the large elk I had just drained.

Emmet found my appetite absolutely hilarious, joking that I drank more in a day than he did in a month. He had promptly received several hefty whacks to the back of the head, which he had used as an excuse to start a wrestling match with Jasper.

I had gotten to that stage that almost every pregnant woman invariably gets to: the 'I’ve had enough' phase, as Esme called it. It was that time when being pregnant lost any and all lingering novelty, and you just wanted to get the baby out and be done with it. Luckily for me, Carlisle was happy with Renesmee's growth, and plans were in place to deliver her tomorrow. Somehow, having the date set just made me more impatient. I had butterflies in my stomach, fluttering frantically in anticipation and trepidation.

Jacob had continued to visit several times over the week that had passed after our reunion, coming to the house almost every day. Rosalie would frown in consternation whenever 'the dog' appeared, wrinkling her nose and sneering at him. He didn't seem to mind, and their brief squabbles were always entertaining. Esme, ever the gracious hostess, insisted on making lunch for him, even going so far as to give him some to take back to Billy. Seth came with him a few times, which improved Edward’s mood about the whole thing immensely, particularly as Jacob's visits seemed to get longer and more frequent as the week passed.

The others had gotten used to having Jake around, and I think they were even starting to like him a little bit; Emmet was happy to have someone to watch football games with who was actually interested, and Alice was relieved rather than irritated when his presence blocked her visions, because it saved her from the headache being brought on by the 'fuzzy reception' she was getting from the baby. Of course, Jasper would put up with anything as long as Alice was happy.

Charlie had called the house just after Jacob left the first time, concerned at having heard nothing from me for weeks. I had cited a serious illness picked up in South America as the reason for my lack of contact, glad that it was easier to lie convincingly over the phone; my acting skills still weren't quite up to par. He seemed to believe me though, so I must have made some improvement during my relationship with Edward.

I groaned, putting my hands on my lower spine and leaning backwards. My enormous belly was extremely heavy by that point, more like a beach ball than a bulge; my back was killing me and my ankles would swell if I stood up for more than a minute. This wasn't as much of a problem, since Edward had taken to carrying me everywhere, but that just made me feel even more helpless than usual. Overall, I was not in a good mood.

Edward swept me off my feet and carried me inside, chuckling slightly when I grumbled. The dewy glow of sunset glinted off his skin as he gently laid me out on the bed in our room.

“Just one more day darling. Think, this time tomorrow you'll be a mother.”

I cringed. “Now I’m scared.”

He laughed. “Don't be. You can do this. I know you can.”

He kissed my forehead and rubbed my stomach gently until he felt Renesmee kick his hand. He smiled softly. “Now, I’m going to run you a nice hot bubble bath to relieve all those aches and pains. Then, you are going to get a good nights sleep before your big day tomorrow.”

I smiled back at him. “You know you're perfect right?”

Edward just laughed and disappeared into the bathroom. He was back a minute later, scooping me up off the comforter and carrying me to the huge bathtub. He undressed me slowly, reverently, placing little kisses on each new bit of exposed skin. I giggled when his lips tickled, and moaned when they brushed one of my sweet spots; he knew just where to touch to make me feel good. He never wavered from his soft, loving caresses, occasionally inserting a quiet whisper of my name, the sound laced with an almost religious devotion.

When I was fully clothing free, he carefully picked me up and lowered me into the warm, soapy water. I sighed in contentment and relaxed as his capable hands ran a wash cloth over my skin and worked shampoo and conditioner into my hair. I was half asleep when he finally lifted me out of the water, laying me on a towel and drying me like a baby, then dressing me in a silk pyjama set, presumably one of the many Alice had ordered from the maternity sections of her favourite designers' websites. The fabric glided across my skin smoothly, making me smile as it tickled me.

Edward cradled me against his chest as he carried me back to bed, my head resting on his shoulder. He laid me down carefully, as if I were made of the most fragile glass. Then he moved to the foot of the bed and started to massage my swollen ankles and aching feet. His cool hands worked deliciously, soothing all my cares away.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“Love you too,” I mumbled sleepily.

I fell asleep with his hands still rubbing my feet; the last thing I felt was his gentle kiss on my rounded stomach.

~ADP~

Everything was in place. The nursery was decorated in clean, crisp white with yellow accents. I had vetoed Alice’s attempt to cover the whole room in pink – just the mental image of it had made me cringe – although I had let her have her fun when it came to buying baby clothes.

Carlisle kept some donated blood in the house in case there was an emergency (i.e. I had an accident), and Esme had prepared a little metal bottle full for the baby's first feed. As adverse as Edward and I were to feeding her human blood, we both accepted that there was no other way, and had resolved to teach her the family philosophy once she was able to hunt for herself.

Rosalie and Edward had both fed profusely overnight so that they could be present without my blood distracting them. I was slightly jealous, since I hadn't been allowed to eat anything all day to prevent a bad reaction to the anaesthetic. I felt very odd; the lack of blood made me feel ill, but the lack of food meant I couldn't actually be ill. I had spent the morning sitting quietly on the sofa, watching Emmet watch a football game – which is much more interesting than it sounds, believe it or not – and absent-mindedly rubbing my stomach.

Now I was sitting on the hospital bed in Carlisle’s office in a crackling paper gown, waiting for Carlisle, Edward and Rosalie to come back in. They had gone outside to discuss something away from my hearing, and I was left worrying my lip, alone and confused.

The door opened before I could get too panicked, and I knew that it was time. No one spoke as they moved into position; it was as if they had it choreographed. That was entirely possible; we had discussed the process several times over the last week or so.

Rose went to stand against the wall by the door, near enough to help if needed but within easy access of an exit, just in case. She had already laid out some towels and blankets along with a weighing scale and tape measure – she would take Renesmee from Carlisle, clean her up and take her measurements, then bring her back to me.

Carlisle was scrubbing his hands and putting on rubber gloves. He turned to an array of syringes, which I was trying desperately not to think about: one for the anaesthetic, one containing a larger than average dose of morphine, and another, larger one full of Edward’s venom. If things took a turn for the worst, Carlisle would inject me with the morphine first to try and dull the pain, then put the venom directly into my heart. Edward would then bite me at all my major pulse points, getting as much as possible into me as fast as he could.

Edward stood beside me. It was he who broke the silence.

“Are you ready?” he asked me, staring into my eyes intensely.

I smiled, trying to lighten the tension. “Yes. I feel like I’m going to pop.”

He smiled back tightly, then leaned down and kissed me. He helped me lie down flat, and gripped my hand in his. Carlisle approached, syringe in hand.

“Alright Bella,” he said, smiling reassuringly. “I'm going to give you something called a twilight anaesthetic. You will remain conscious, though you may feel a little sleepy, but you won't feel any pain. Okay?”

I nodded, my throat swollen at the sight of the needle. Edward saw my fear and gently turned my face towards him, holding it so that my eyes looked into his. His touch and gaze soothed my ragged nerves, the dazzling glimmer of his eyes distracting me from what Carlisle was doing. I didn't even realise he had put the needle in me until the drowsiness of the medicine began to flow through me. My eyes drifted closed, but I forced them open, unwilling to miss even a moment.

Edward smiled at me, sitting down in a chair by my head, still holding my hand. He seemed much more calm now, his eyes no longer tense, as he rubbed his thumb across my knuckles soothingly.

After a minute or so, Carlisle asked, “How are you feeling Bella?”

“Sort of floaty,” I replied quietly, “and sleepy.” I added, trying to stifle a yawn.

“That's good. We're ready to start.”

I squeezed Edward’s hand and smiled up at him. He squeezed back and turned to watch what Carlisle was doing. He began to murmur softly, too quiet and quick for me to hear. I didn't mind; just his voice calmed me immensely, and I felt wonderful.

I couldn't tell you exactly what happened in the next few minutes. I know Edward never left my side, never let go of my hand, and kept talking quietly to me, though I didn't hear the words. My body felt like it had no weight; I might have thought it wasn't there at all, but I could still dimly feel the cool hands on me, the gentle pressure on my stomach.

After a while, I felt Edward move. I had sort of been drifting off, but I perked up as he leaned forward to get a better look at something. I watched his face intently, waiting for some sign to tell me what was going on. A slow smile spread across his face. When he looked back at me, his eyes sparkled with undisguised joy, and his smile was so glorious I had to remind myself to breathe. His voice, though only a whisper, was filled with reverent adoration, his words simple, yet saying so much, changing my whole life in an instant.

“She's here.”

My smile matched his as we stared into each other's eyes, waiting expectantly for the moment we had been anticipating for over two weeks. I felt Rose move closer, saw her move away with something in her arms, but I couldn't lift my head enough to see it.

“Edward,” I mumbled, squeezing his hand.

He squeezed back. “I know my love. Just a minute more, I promise.”

I started mentally counting to sixty, ignoring the fact that Carlisle hadn't finished yet and trying not to think about what he was doing.

I had only gotten as far as 45 when Rosalie came back, smiling and cradling a bundle of blankets. The fog of anaesthetic was beginning to clear from my brain, though my body was still numb, and I managed to move a little, detaching my hand from Edward’s and reaching out.

Carlisle finally moved away from me, and Edward gently tilted the top part of the bed so that I was almost upright before smoothing my hair and sitting back down beside me.

“Say hello to your momma,” Rosalie cooed to the bundle in her arms, holding it out towards me. I had never held a baby before in my life, but my arms curled instinctively around the blankets just as hers did, holding the warm mass securely against my chest as I stared down at... my baby. The concept itself was dizzying; the reality blew my mind.

Renesmee – I could see at once that the name suited her exactly – was small but perfectly formed. Her hands peeked out of the blanket, clenched into little fists, the tiny fingers tipped with miniature coral-coloured nails. She was dressed in a pale pink onesie that perfectly matched her rosy cheeks, accentuating the ivory colour of her skin. She had a little button nose and two rounded ears, and her head was topped with a handful of shiny bronze curls. Her eyes sparkled, their deep brown colour matching my own exactly. She stared at me for a moment, still looking a little startled after her sudden entrance into this big new world, then her pink lips parted in a huge smile, revealing two rows of perfect pearl-white teeth and two tiny dimples. I couldn't help but smile back, and her hands reached for me as I did so, her little legs kicking in the blanket.

“She's perfect,” I whispered, absolutely in awe of this tiny life that Edward and I had created.

“I know,” Edward whispered back, reaching out and running his finger down her cheek. She grabbed it and tugged, trying to find where it came from, and he stood up and leaned over so she could see him. She gurgled happily when she saw his face, pulling his finger into her mouth and chewing on it. He winced and I laughed.

“Not funny,” he grumbled. “That actually hurt.”

I just laughed again. Renesmee cooed happily, still chewing. Looking up briefly, I saw the door click shut behind Rosalie and Carlisle; we were alone.

“Come on Renesmee,” I coaxed, “Give Daddy his finger back.”

She did, reluctantly, putting on the most adorably pout I had ever seen. I couldn't resist leaning in and kissing her forehead. One of her tiny dimpled hands reached up to press against my cheek, her palm flat against my skin.

I gasped as an image assaulted my mind; Edward, his brilliant face lit up in a smile, leaning towards me over...me. But not the me I was used to. This me looked back to front; like a mirror image of my reflection.

“Bella?” Edward said worriedly, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Are you alright?”

Renesmee moved her hand and the image vanished, leaving my staring down at her smiling face.

“Did you do that?” I whispered to her, utter astonishment clear in my voice. She cooed again and clapped her hands together.

“What is it?” Edward asked.

“It was... us. I think she was showing me what we look like to her; putting her thoughts into my head, I guess. That's the best way I can think to describe it. Did you see anything?”

He nodded. “I thought she was just remembering. She's so happy...” He trailed off, then smiled, leaning over to brush a hand across her hair.

“You did do that, didn't you? You showed Mommy what you were thinking. Such a clever girl.” he cooed. Renesmee just smiled at him, looking almost smug as she took his praise.

“You're inflating her ego,” I muttered, and he laughed. Then he went over to the table that Rosalie had set up on the other side of the room. Renesmee watching him curiously, leaning up a little to follow him with her eyes. He came back a moment later, the little metal bottle in his hand. He shook it, and she began to wriggle excitedly in my arms.

“About time the little diva got something to eat.” he said, smiling widely and holding the bottle out to me. I took it carefully, unsure of what I was supposed to be doing. Renesmee, on the other hand, knew exactly what to do, reaching out for the bottle with her little hands. I held it near her, and she pulled the teat into her mouth, sucking happily.

“You okay?” I murmured to Edward, worried that the blood might be bothering him. He just shook his head and leaned in to whisper in my ear.

“Esme mixed in a little powdered formula milk. The scent is barely noticeable.”

I nodded, staring down at my baby as she drank greedily. I still found it hard to believe that she was really here, in my arms; it seemed incredible that such an impossible creature could exist at all.

Renesmee quickly finished her first meal, releasing the bottle with a pop and letting out a little belch that made Edward and I laugh yet again. It felt like we were doing that a lot today; perhaps we were just riding a high from the release of all the underlying stress we had been under.

“At least we don't have to worry about burping her.” I commented. She made another happy noise and wiggled again.

“The others want to come in.” Edward said softly, just before there was an equally soft knock on the door.

“Come in,” I said, knowing they would hear me. The door opened a crack, and Rose stuck her head in, smiling. I smiled back and Edward waved them in. She opened the door wider, and came into the room, trailing Esme and Alice behind her. Carlisle followed after them, then Emmet, with Jasper bringing up the rear, looking a little bit nervous. I gave him what I hoped was an encouraging smile, and he relaxed slightly.

Esme was holding a little digital camera, and she insisted on taking a picture of us, before Rose asked if she could hold the baby. I handed her over carefully, eager for her to meet her family but reluctant to let go of her. They all took turns cradling her, passing her from one person to the next.

Everyone laughed when Edward held her for the first time, a goofy grin on his face, and again when Emmet wiggled his fingers in front of her face and got himself bitten. There were a few quiet titters at the look on Jasper's face when Alice held her out to him, but no one was cruel enough to hurt his pride by laughing outright.

Renesmee greeted each new face with a curious look, followed by a sparkling smile. I watched as each of them met her, seeing the same soft smile and sparkling eyes take over their faces. In mere minutes, my daughter had every one of them wrapped securely around her tiny fingers.

I sat back and watched them pass her around, talking to her and each other, feeling more content than I had in months.

Chapter 6: Friend

Chapter 6: Friend

Days passed. My stomach continued to expand at an alarming rate; it was quickly becoming its own continent. Every day, Carlisle would measure me carefully, taking no notes but recalling perfectly each measurement. According to him, I was gaining two centimetres every day; the equivalent of two weeks growth in a human pregnancy. The pace was almost frightening. Every morning brought on a new phase, a new set of emotions, and – to me at least – a new annoyance or upset.

On one day, my usual insecurities seemed to be intensified; I took one look at Rose, in all her glorious beauty, and felt my own insignificance so keenly that I burst into tears.

On another day, Alice’s perpetual enthusiasm was met with pessimism and irritation on my part, and only Edward’s restraining hand and Jasper's calming influence prevented me from attempting to claw her eyes out. Later, when my mood had swung round in a circle as it was prone to doing these days, I felt very guilty for even having considered it, and had to apologise to her before I could relax enough to go to sleep.

I felt sorry for Jasper; it couldn't be easy to be around me right now. I was surprised he hadn't run off.

I was immensely grateful to Edward through all of this. He put up with every high and every low.

He kept me entertained when I couldn't sleep and let me use him as a pillow when I couldn't keep my eyes open.

He was calm and reassuring when I was angry, and, though it irritated me at the time, I was grateful later on for his reasonable attitude as I screeched and screamed at him.

He held me and comforted me when I cried, holding me up when crippling depression threatened to drown me.

He shared my smiles and laughter when I was in a good mood and indulged my every fanciful desire (within reason) determined to spoil me as much as possible while he could get away with it.

He was more than happy to satisfy my raging hormones; the monstrous and unexplainable sex drive that reared its head every evening once we retired to our room.

He hunted for me, at first once every evening, then first thing in the morning as well, and then three times a day, after each meal. Along with Esme, he constantly experimented with new ways of making eggs interesting, trying to find exactly how much other food I could put up with if egg was the staple. He had mostly been successful, and I had only a little sickness after we returned home, and never anything as horrible and disabling as the morning sickness on the island.

All in all, things were going well. Until about a week after we returned home.

I was having a good day, for once. The sun had come out unexpectedly around noon, and Edward had set up two lounge chairs in the back yard. We sunbathed contentedly – well, I sunbathed, he sparkled – until my stomach grumbled and he headed inside to make my lunch. The forest was very peaceful, with only a slight breeze relieving the heat of the sun. I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting off to sleep. The sound of the wind and the rustling leaves was soothing, as was the smell of cooking egg, melting cheese and grilling ham wafting out of the kitchen window.

All of a sudden, I heard another noise, very different to the others. It was a low, sinister growl that morphed without warning into a whine which sounded almost like a whimper.

My eyes popped open and I sat up, scanning the edge of the trees. Edward appeared next to me, eyes warily following the same course mine had taken. He had a plate with an omelet and cutlery on it in his hands; he'd brought my lunch out, bless him. I gently pried it from his fingers before his tense fists shattered the plate.

“Who is it?” I whispered.

“Jacob.” he huffed, slumping down onto the ground beside me and taking my hand. “Apparently the wolves have noticed my odd hunting habits, and he came to investigate.”

“On Sam’s orders?” I asked coolly. I still wasn't happy about the control Sam had over Jacob.

“No, he's here of his own accord. He feels it's his duty to the pack to find out what's going on. He's seen you now, and it's just made him more confused.”

“Get out of my head!” a disgruntled voice called from the tree line, and my heart thumped erratically as Jacob emerged in human form, wearing his usual denim shorts and nothing else. His face was angry and hurt, the same as it had been the last time I had seen him. I cringed at the memory.

The river and most of the lawn separated us; Edward and Jacob glared at each other while I fidgeted nervously with the thin t-shirt I wore.

“We need to talk.” Jacob said, his voice carrying across the space, though he didn't shout.

“We don't have to tell you anything dog. This is private family business. You need to leave. Now.” Edward’s voice was low and menacing, and I knew Jacob would hear the barely disguised threat his words held.

“We have a right to know what's going on, if it will threaten our people or the people of Forks.”

“The Hell you-”

“Edward,” I interrupted his angry exclamation. “He's right. They deserve to know; they have to know that it's safe.”

Edward growled. I sighed.

“Tell you what, I’ll go talk to him. You stay here. I’ll be in your sight, and you'll be able to hear us the whole time. You can intervene if something happens. Please Edward,” I curled my free hand around his cheek, making him look at me. “I need to do this.”

He looked torn for a moment, then nodded stiffly. I stood up, expecting him to let go of my hand, but he tugged me down into his lap and kissed me softly.

“Take your lunch with you.” he murmured, and I nodded. I picked up my plate and crossed the grass to the river's edge, then sat down with my feet in the water, like I had last night. The cool water felt good; I hadn't realised quite how hot I was getting. My lunch balanced precariously on my lap – my belly really was starting to get huge now – and I began to cut pieces off the omelet, placing them in my mouth and chewing thoroughly. Neither Jacob or I spoke, both waiting for the other to begin. In the end, his impatience got the best of him.

“Are you going to explain how this happened?” he snapped tersely. I looked up, and saw his face matched his tone. He had mirrored my position, sitting on the river bank with his feet in the water, and he was gesturing towards my baby bump with one hand.

I gave him a scathing look. “Surely I don't need to explain the facts of life to you Jake. Hasn't Billy done that already?”

Jacob grimaced and shook his head violently. “You know that's not what I mean Bella.”

I looked down at my food again, cutting another piece of omelet as I spoke. “What do you want me to say? It turns out male vampires can have children with human women.” I shrugged flippantly, tossing the food into my mouth and chewing. “It's as simple as that.”

I continued eating as he processed this new revelation. When he spoke, his voice was calm and composed. He seemed determined not to get angry.

“I’m not even going to ask if you'll get rid of it; if you haven't by now you're not going to. But you understand, we have to be sure it won't be a danger to others.”

I nodded, ignoring his use of the word 'it' – my baby was not an 'it' – since he didn't know any better. “I know. But there's nothing to worry about. Edward and I happened to meet a person like our child in South America, and he told us all we need to know.”

Jacob's eyes widened. “What the hell were you doing in South America?”

I smiled, trying not to laugh at his startled expression. “What, you thought we were going to spend our honeymoon here?” I gave him a sarcastic look. “Carlisle gave Esme an island off the coast of Brazil. She let us borrow it for a few weeks.”

Jake shook his head in amazement, muttering something that sounded like “Leeches own an island. Go figure.”

He started to ask questions then, and I patiently answered them as best I could, explaining everything we had been told by Huilen and Nahuel. My lunch was gone long before he was finished, and Edward came over briefly to take the plate away before disappearing again.

Jacob took everything I told him in stride, accepting it more easily than I ever could have hoped. He seemed determined not to show any weakness, listening to all of it and not even cringing at the more gruesome parts, which made me shiver as I said them. But I hesitated when he asked about Edward’s extra hunting trips, unsure if even he could take the truth.

“What?” he asked, spotting my reluctance and seeing right through me, as usual. “Too much for me? Whatever it is Bells, it can't be worse than some of the other stuff I’ve seen in the last year.”

“Oh, I think it is.” I mumbled, looking away. There was silence as I avoided his gaze, pulling at the grass beside me.

“Try me.” he challenged after a moment.

I took a deep breath to calm myself. “Okay, here goes. See, in order for me to get the nutrition I need from my food, the baby has to get what it needs as well. That just happens to be more vampiric than human.”

“So,” Jake said, frowning as he tried to figure out what I was telling him, “All the extra hunting is for... that?” He gestured in my direction, obviously talking about the bump; it seemed like he didn't want to refer to the baby directly. Whatever. He didn't have to like my decision, just accept it.

I nodded in answer to his question. “Edward hunts, brings back and animal and cuts into a blood vessel, then I have to drink it so it can reach the baby.”

Jacob grimaced. “Doesn't that gross you out?”

I shrugged. “At first I didn't know if I could do it, but it's actually not that bad. It smells good to me, and tastes even better, and I can't eat without drinking before or after. The food just comes straight back up and I don't get any of the benefits of it. I can only eat meals based on eggs as it is.”

He made another face. “Eggs and blood. Doesn't sound very appetising.”

I smirked. “I'm pregnant, remember? Crazy cravings are kind of a given.”

Jacob shook his head, looking away. “This is so surreal. I never imagined, when we first met, that anything like this could ever happen. I didn't even believe in half of it. Now look at us; a teenage werewolf and a vampire's wife.”

I laughed. “I know what you mean. It's kind of incredible, how far we've come in such a short time.”

He smiled, just a little. Then his face grew serious, his eyes locked on mine.

“Are you happy Bells? If you are, I’ll let all of this go and you never have to deal with me again, I swear. I’ll tell the pack everything you told me, and I’ll make sure they leave you alone. Just tell me he truth, please.”

His eyes begged for me to understand. I sighed. “Yes Jake, I’m happy. Very happy. But I’d be even happier if we could still be friends. At the risk of sounding cliché, what we have is special Jacob, and I don't want to lose it.”

Jacob seemed to think for a moment before nodding slowly. “I don't want to lose it either. It will be kinda hard, being around smelly leeches all the time...”

“Be nice,” I chided.

“...but I’ll try. For you.”

I smiled widely. “That's all I’m asking for.”

He sprang to his feet and backed up a few yards, then ran full tilt to the river's edge, launching himself off a flat stone embedded in the bank and soaring clear over the water, landing with a thump and a roll a few feet from me. I laughed as he continued to roll towards me, a crazy smile on his face. He jumped up when he was beside me, pulling me up into a tight, warm bear hug.

Renesmee began wriggling inside my belly, enough that Jacob felt it and leant back to stare.

“What was that?” he asked, sounding a little worried.

I gave him a reassuring smile. “That means she likes you. She has an uncanny sense of who's who from their touch, and she always moves more when someone excites her.”

He seemed to contemplate that for a moment. “You can feel it?”

I nodded, my smile turning dreamy. “Every time.”

Jacob mused for one second more, then grinned. “She?”

I shrugged. “There's no way to know for sure – the ultrasound wouldn't work – but I got more reaction when I was playing with girls' names.”

His smile widened. “Settle on anything?”

I nodded. “Renesmee Carlie. She likes it, and so does Edward.”

“Renesmee, huh?” He stroked his chin thoughtfully. “That's kind of a mouthful. How about calling her... Nessie, for short?”

I snorted. “Nessie? What, like the Loch Ness Monster?”

He laughed. “Well, they are both mythical creatures.”

“This coming from the wolf man.” I shot back.

“Touché.” he said, and we both fell about laughing. This was how Jacob and I were supposed to be; carefree, without any drama or madness. Just two friends having fun.

When we calmed down, I put my hand on my stomach.

“Do you like that baby? Nessie for short?” I asked. There was a decided thump against my hand, but whether it was negative or positive was anyone's guess.

“Does she like it?” Jake asked.

I frowned. “Not sure. We can always try it out later though. Hey, that can be your special name for her. That way, if she hates it, you'll irritate her as much as you irritate me.”

“Ha ha.” he said sarcastically. “I'm not that bad.”

I just shrugged, and we laughed again.

A howl cut off our laughter and Jake sighed.

“That'll be Sam. They must have realised I’m missing.” He looked at me apologetically. “I have to go.”

I nodded. “I understand. I don't like it, but I understand.”

“Back atcha.” he grinned, and I smacked his arm half-heartedly. “I'll make sure they leave you alone.” he promised, then kissed my forehead and ran into the trees, not bothering to cross the river. He stuck his head through the shrubs a second later, already in wolf form, and barked, giving me his signature toothy grin; the one where his tongue hung out of the side of his mouth. I waved in response, then another howl sent him running off through the forest.

I sighed and turned back to the house. Edward stood from where he had sat down on one of the lounge chairs, vanished, and reappeared at my side.

“Thirsty?” he asked, his face still tense.

“A little.” I replied. He nodded and turned to go, but I caught his hand and tugged. He turned back around, frowning slightly, and gave me a questioning look. I just smiled and pulled him down for a kiss.

“I love you.” I whispered fervently when we broke apart. “I don't feel like I say it enough, so I’m going to say it every day from now on, just so that you'll never doubt how I feel for you.”

Edward smiled. “How do you know me so well?”
I shrugged. “Practise.”

He laughed, a happy, relaxed sound. All the tension had left his shoulders, now that Jacob was far away. “And I will say 'I love you' as well, so much it will make you sick of me.”

“Never.” I vowed, kissing him again, a deep, slow, long kiss that gave true meaning to the phrase 'Actions speak louder than words'. There were no words to describe what he meant to me, so kisses would have to do.

I could think of worse ways to spend eternity.

Chapter 5: Conversations

Chapter 5: Conversations

I took a deep breath to steady myself before I knocked on Rosalie and Emmet's bedroom door. I had to remind myself that this conversation needed to be had; if I didn't hold on to that thought, my fears would get the best of me and I would bolt back upstairs, continuing to avoid it. I couldn't do that if I wanted there to be any peace within the family.

Emmet opened the door, smiling when he saw me.

“Hey Bells,” he said, his infectious grin growing wider. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

My answering smile was weak. “I was hoping I could speak to Rosalie for a moment. In private, if you don't mind.”

His smile faltered a little, but remained in place. “Sure. You just give me a shout if you need me.”

Emmet stepped around me, heading for the stairs with his hands in his pockets and whistling tunelessly. I shook my head, amazed as ever by his nonchalance, before stepping into the room and closing the door behind me.

Everything was decorated in shades of red and black, with occasional splashes of stark white contrasting the darker colours. The wall were a rich burgundy; the doors to what I assumed were the closet and the bathroom were painted black, as was the inside of the main door; black silk sheets covered a four-poster king-size bed, with rose red velvet curtains and white pillows; a white vanity set against one wall had a mirror hanging over it, the silver frame embedded with bright rubies, and there was a matching full length mirror by the closet door.

Rosalie sat on a gilt silver chair with her back to me, staring at her flawless reflection in the mirror and brushing her hair languidly. She looked distracted, but not angry or sad like I thought she would be. Her eyes met mine in the mirror as the door clicked shut, and they held no emotion what so ever.

I tried to smile; even I didn't think it was convincing.

“Hi,” I whispered.

Rosalie sighed and turned around, still without any emotion on her face. “I know what you're here to say.”

“You do?” I said, still unable to speak above a whisper. Not that she had any trouble hearing me.

“Of course,” Her face finally shifted, dropping into a sarcastic smile. “You're going to tell me to stay away from you and the baby. And I will, if you want. I’ll leave if you like.”

I was shaking my head before she was finished, frowning. “Why would I ask that? This is your home; it's been yours for much longer than it's been mine. Why would I ask you to leave?”
She looked perplexed. “But you know what I want. I told you my dreams. Don't you think I would do anything for that? That I would be willing for you to die for that?”

“I don't doubt that you would be,” I said seriously, still frowning. “but, whether we like it or not, we're family now, and I have to feel that I can trust you. I do trust you not to try and hurt me, and I’m actually grateful that you would want to take care of my baby if...” I swallowed, feeling tears well up in my eyes. “If I weren't around.”

Rosalie stood up and came towards me cautiously, as if she expected me to make a run for it if she got too close. She took my hand and led me towards the bed, pulling me down to sit beside her. I didn't resist or shy away, trying to show her that I wasn't afraid.

“Say what you have to say.” she whispered.

My breathing hitched a little as I spoke, and the tears began to spill over.

“I know you must think I’m fickle, that I change my mind at the drop of a hat. I told you I didn't want children, and here I am, desperate for a baby. I don't really get it myself. It's just... ever since I realised what was happening, I... I... I need it. I need this like I need food and water and air and Edward. I can't give it up. I won't.”

Fierce determination seized me and I grabbed Rosalie’s hands, holding them between my own. I stared into her startled gold eyes, silently begging her to understand.

“Rosalie, I know you don't like me. I know you don't owe me anything. But I have to ask you to do something for me, something very important.”

“What?” she whispered, still in shock. “What do you want me to do?”

I took a deep breathe. “There is a very good chance that I won't make it through this, even with all the information we have. If I do, I almost definitely won't be human any more.” I paused, collecting my thoughts. “If I am ever unable to care for my child, for whatever reason, I want you to look after them for me. I want you to love them and take care of them like your own, and I want you to make sure Edward doesn't do anything stupid. I know it's a lot to ask, but I don't feel like I can ask anyone else.”

Rosalie shook her head. “Esme would do it for you, happily, or Alice. You can ask them.”

“And I will.” I smiled slightly through the tears. “If you say no. But I know you want this Rosalie. I know how much you want to have your dream. Esme has all of you as her children, and Alice doesn't care. I want you to feel like a mother, even if it's only for a little while. I want you to help me. Will you? Please?”

She looked at me with a mixture of shock and confusion. “You'd really do that? Trust me with everything you love, everything you live for?”
I nodded.

She seemed to think for a moment, then unexpectedly pulled me into a tight hug.

“Yes.” she whispered in my ear. “Yes, I’ll help you. I don't want to fight any more Bella. We can't spend eternity never talking to each other just because I’m being petty. I’ll help you from now on, whenever you need me. You don't even have to ask.”

I hugged her back as tightly as I could. “Thank you Rosalie. You can't imagine what this means to me.”

“I know you would do the same for me if the situation was reversed.” She pulled back and smiled at me. “And you can go ahead and call me Rose if you want.”

About an hour later, I was laid out across the couch, watching television on my own. Carlisle and Edward were still locked in debate, and Emmet had reclaimed Rose after our conversation. Jasper and Esme were hunting and I assumed Alice had gone with them.

My hand rested on my stomach, stroking gently back and forth. I wasn't really concentrating on what I was watching, more interested in the fluttering movement from my abdomen. I remembered Edward telling me, on our last night on the island, that the baby liked my voice and responded to speech; perhaps it would make him happy if I talked to him.

“Hey there baby,” I whispered, and he kicked me gently. I smiled.

“I'm so happy I have you baby. You're going to love it here. It's kind of cold and wet, but everything is so green and beautiful and alive. I’ve never been anywhere like it. I can't wait for you to see it all. I have a whole world to show you.

“You're going to be spoiled, I know it. Between your aunts and your grandma, you'll never be out of new clothes.” I giggled.

The baby gave another fluttering kick.

An idea occurred to me then. “You need a name, don't you honey? Who knows how fast you're going to be here; we should be prepared for anything. Hmm,” I thought for a moment. I knew I wanted to name my baby after important people in my life, and I should probably choose a girl's name as well as a boy's one, just in case.

“How about... Edward Jacob? EJ for short, so we don't get confused. Do you like that?”

Only the barest hint of a nudge from my womb.

“Huh. Don't like that? I think it's nice. The again, maybe you're a girl. Alright, let me think.” I pursed my lips. “Renee Esme perhaps? But that doesn't quite scan. Unless...”

My mind churned, and I suddenly found the perfect name. Unique, beautiful, and paying tribute to the two women I had the honour of calling my mother.

“What do you think of... Renesmee?”

The kicks erupted excitedly, bashing against my side and making me giggle.

“Okay, okay! I get it. You like that one. I think you know more about what you are than we do.”

Another decided thump. I laughed.

“Alright, Renesmee it is. And... Carlie for a middle name. Then you have Renee, Esme, Carlisle and Charlie. Half human and half vampire, just like you. That sound good?”

“Sounds fine to me.”

I jumped and looked over the back of the sofa. Alice was standing in the living room doorway, looking scared and worried despite her wide smile and casual words.

“Hey,” I breathed, smiling. “I thought you went out with Jasper.”

She shook her head. “Not thirsty.” She seemed to hover at the door, as if she wanted to enter but was unable.

“Are you okay?” I asked, “You look kind of... edgy.”

Alice sighed and dropped her head, her shoulders slumping in defeat. Her face was pained when she looked back at me. Alarmed, I sat up straighter and held my arms out; she looked like she desperately needed a hug. She hovered for a moment, then darted over to the couch and fell into the hug, sobbing slightly once. I held her while she collected herself, stroking her back.

“I'm sorry,” she murmured. “I know I’m being confusing. But I can't see anything Bella, and that scares me. Anything I do see is fuzzy and uncertain and it's starting to give me a headache.”

She looked at me apologetically, and I smiled reassuringly at her.

“I understand Alice. I know this is hard for you; I should really be the one apologising, not you.”

“Don't apologise for something out of your control Bella,” Alice said, “especially something you want so badly.” She sighed. “I guess I’ll get used to it. So,” She smiled a little and eyed my now obvious baby bump. “Renesmee Carlie, huh?”

I nodded. “After her grandparents. I was kind of hoping for a boy, but after the reactions I got I’m pretty sure it's a girl.”
“Is that okay with you?”
“Sure. I don't care, really. I just want my baby to be healthy and happy. Nothing else matters.”

At that moment, a sharp kick hit my stomach, making me gasp. Edward appeared out of nowhere, a concerned look on his face. His hands cradled my stomach gently.

“Are you alright darling?” he asked, his voice trying to be calm but betraying his panic slightly. Alice was frowning.

The moment had passed, and there was only a dull throb where I had been hit.

“I'm fine,” I assured them. “Just another kick.”
Edward gently raised my t-shirt until it was tucked above the bump.

Even I could see the dark purple bruise beginning to form on the side of my stomach. I grimaced, not from pain, but because it was huge; I could see it would take a while to heal, and I just knew Edward would start beating himself up over it any second.

Sure enough, his head drooped until his face was hidden against me, pressed against my stomach. His cool forehead actually helped, soothing the ache that was starting to develop under the bruise.

I ran my fingers through his hair. “Hey, hey, none of that. It's alright. We knew this would happen, Huilen told us so. It doesn't even hurt any more. Please don't blame yourself over something beyond your control.” I tried to keep my voice calm and gentle, but I couldn't help the slight pleading tone that slipped into my final sentence.

Edward took a deep breath and placed a gentle kiss on my stomach. “I know. But I can't help it. I worry. It's my nature, and especially true in regards to you. Both of you.” He stroked the baby gently, soothing and loving. I smiled softly down at him.

“I understand. Really I do. But you have to understand that you can't protect me from everything; you should know that by now. You can't spend your whole life on edge, you have to relax sometimes.”

“Amen sister,” Alice crowed, and I giggled. “Listen to her Edward, she knows what she's talking about.”

Edward smiled, just a little. I ran my fingers through his hair again, fiddling with the soft coppery strands. He closed his eyes and made a curious noise, almost like a purr. Alice laughed.

“I'll leave you three alone. Have fun playing 'Happy Families'!”

She jumped up and skipped out of the room, apparently back to her usual perky self. Edward shook his head, his smile indulgent and content. All his fear and tension seemed to have evaporated as quickly as it had appeared, which I was glad of. There was another kick in my abdomen, softer than the last, tentative, under Edward’s hand.

“It's okay baby, we're not ignoring you.” I said, and Edward chuckled.

“You're so indulgent with her. She has to learn that we can't always be focused on her.”

I looked at him, raising one eyebrow with a smirk.

He shrugged. “I heard you talking before.”

“Always eavesdropping.” I muttered, shaking my head. “We'll start teaching her after she's born. It will be easier that way. Besides,” I gave him a mock accusatory look, “don't tell she's not going to turn into 'Daddy's Little Princess'. I know you're going to spoil her rotten.”

Edward shrugged again and we both laughed. After a moment, he spoke.

“Time for bed love. You need your rest and I’m sure you're tired after all our travelling.”

“Can we hunt first?” I asked timidly. “I'm a little thirsty.”

Edward smiled softly. “Of course darling. Go wait for me on the grass by the river and I’ll be right back.”

He kissed me softly, then helped me up from the couch and promptly vanished. I smiled and walked out onto the wide grass space behind the house. A few flower beds I hadn't noticed on the few occasions I had come out here before were dotted around it, close to the edge, and I spotted Esme kneeling by one of them, pulling up weeds. She looked up and watched as I crossed the lawn to the river. The crystal water looked very inviting, so I kicked off the slippers I had changed into when we got home and sat on the ground, dangling my feet in the water. I leaned back on my hands and kicked my feet a little, watching the clouds darken as the sun set over the trees. It was very peaceful, with twilight just around the corner and my mind at ease. Edward understood my decision and was even getting a little excited. Like me he was beginning to consider our future, speculating on our impending parenthood.

I had connected with Rosalie and reconnected with Alice, so my new sisters understood as well. On top of that, I knew my baby would be safe with Rosalie if I were ever unable to take care of her myself.

Though she remained a mystery in many ways, my little nudger – Renesmee – was almost communicating with us now, and that allowed us to learn so much more about her, on top of what Huilen and Nahuel had told us.

I could see everything working out. Except...

I sighed. There was still the issue of Jacob. Though I had tried to lock all thoughts of him away in a drawer, I couldn't quite help wondering what he was doing right at this moment. Had he run off again? I hoped not, for Billy's sake.

Something soft and warm wrapped around my shoulders. I looked up, and found Esme gently tucking a blanket around me.

She smiled. “It's fresh out of the dryer, nice and warm. Edward would never forgive me if I let you sit out here and catch a cold.”

I smiled back. “Thank you Esme. I really appreciate all the trouble you go to for me.”

“It's no trouble at all dear!” she insisted. “I enjoy doing these things for you. It makes me feel... useful, I suppose. The others don't need all these 'Mom' things. It's refreshing, thinking about meals and clothes and warm bedding. You know, our kitchen has seen more use since you came along than in any of the other places we've lived in 80 years.”

I laughed. She was so enthusiastic, almost on the same level as Alice. It was easy to believe that the Cullens really were related sometimes; they acted so similarly. Then again, perhaps that was just because of what they were, or because they had spent so long living together.

“You looked like you were thinking pretty hard about something just now,” Esme remarked conversationally. “Penny for your thoughts?”

I sighed, hunching forward and pulling the blanket tighter around me. “I was just thinking about Jacob. I’ve been trying to forget about him since the wedding, but...” I shook my head. “He won't be forgotten.”

“You don't have to forget him darling.” Esme soothed. “No one is asking you to do that. He's your best friend.” She stroked my hair softly. “He helped you through a very difficult time in your life, and that kind of connection doesn't just go away.”

I frowned. “But I feel so guilty... so stuck. I love Jacob, but I love Edward more. I’m hurting Jake so much, but if I try to make it better... I can't think of a way to do it that doesn't hurt Edward. I can't have both of them, and if I try, I’m afraid that I’ll lose them and I won't have anyone.” Tears welled up and began to spill over as I talked.

Esme gently took my left hand.

“Do you regret this?” she asked, touching the rings on my fourth finger. I hadn't been able to take off my engagement ring yet; it was too pretty to be kept in a box all the time.

I baulked at her suggestion. “Not at all! I just wish there was a way to keep Jake in my life. But... they hate each other so much... and I have to choose... and I can't live without Edward... I just... I...” I broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. Somewhere inside me I wondered why it upset me so much – hadn't I cried it all out already? - but I just couldn't make myself stop.

Esme pulled me to her gently, stroking my back and letting me cry into her blouse. She shushed me and whispered soft words of comfort, rocking me a little like a small child. I frantically tried to collect myself, knowing Edward would return soon, but it was like the day of the battle with the newborns all over again; I couldn't even begin to stop the tears.

As I struggled, I dimly heard the sound of a person breaking through the trees and the thump of a heavy landing beside me. I was passed from one set of arms to another, and my tears calmed as Edward’s presence soothed my frayed nerves.

The coppery smell of whatever creature it was that he had caught met my nostrils and my stomach growled. I was still half blinded by tears, so I could only follow his gentle direction as he bent me over the corpse and put my lips to the slit in its neck. As I had before, I began to suck greedily at the glorious tasting liquid that touched my tongue, desperately trying to pull every last drop of the rapidly cooling blood from the poor gentle creature.

When the flow into my mouth ran dry, I pulled away,once again licking my lips and fingers to get all of it. The taste was salty, the blood tinged with the tears that were still resting on my cheeks and had run into the animal's wound when I lent over. I was suddenly very tired, all my energy sapped by my raging hormones.

Edward picked me up carefully and cradled me against his chest.

“Time for bed love.” he murmured, and began to walk back towards the house. I sniffed away the last of the tears and placed a soft kiss on his neck.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered. “I didn't want you to see that. It's not fair on you.”

Edward sighed. “Don't be silly.” He grinned suddenly. “You mustn’t be afraid to show me how you feel Bella. Like you said earlier, our relationship has to go both ways, communication wise. I can understand, or I can try to. But please, don't hide things from me.”

“I won't.” I promised, sighing sleepily. He was right, of course. He was always right in the end.

“Sleep.” he insisted. “You need to rest.”

He began to hum my lullaby as we climbed the stairs, and I sighed again, locking my fingers into his shirt and pulling myself closer to him.

Edward lay down on our bed with me still wrapped around him. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Chapter 4: Home

Chapter 4: Home

Edward shook me gently awake as the plane descended towards Seattle My dreams had been mercifully Volturi free as I slept through the long flights from Rio to Houston, and Houston up to Seattle. I couldn't remember exactly what I had dreamed of, but I knew it was nice.

After our 'hunt', Huilen had briefly explained what we would need to do once we returned home. She said I would need to have an amount of blood equivalent to what I had just had every day, and more as time progressed; Pire had two deer and a large jaguar the day before Nahuel was born. She also told us that as my strength increased, so would the child's; she warned us of the very real possibility of broken bones, most likely ribs. Edward had stiffened at that, but I stroked his arm gently, trying to be reassuring. It must have worked, because he relaxed almost immediately.

Nahuel had invited us to come back and visit once the baby was born, and then they both vanished into the trees as we boarded the boat to begin our homeward journey

I sat up and stretched, yawning. My shirt rode up a little, exposing part of my rounded stomach. Edward ducked down to kiss the sliver of skin, making me squeak. He chuckled, and I slapped his shoulder, which only seemed to make him more amused. I pouted and crossed my arms, sulking.

“I'm sorry love,” Edward grinned, “I couldn't help myself.”

I made a 'humpf' sound and turned away from him, focusing on the view out of the window. It was only a second before his cold lips began dancing up and down my neck, his hand holding my hair to the side.

“Don't be angry with me Bella, please. You just looked so cute, I couldn't resist. Forgive me?”

I melted, losing all resistance as his nose skimmed my jaw.

“You're evil.” I grumbled.

“Finally, she sees sense.” he mumbled.

I turned and glared at him. “Don't start that again.”
“Sorry love,” he said, looking sheepish, “Force of habit.”
“Well break it.” I snapped. “I'm not in the mood.”

He grinned. “You're adorable when you're angry.”

I growled.

The whole family was waiting for us at the airport.

Carlisle and Esme smiled in welcome, no different from any day.

Rosalie was sulking; I could see that immediately. I understood why, and did not think ill of her for it. In her eyes, I had everything she wanted and could never have – first humanity, then the choice to keep it or leave it behind, and now a child of my own, something she evidently craved.

Emmet, like his parents, was the same as always, grinning widely. I could almost hear the embarrassing jibes forming in his head; it must have been hell to be Edward at that moment.

Alice was bouncing in place, only restrained by Jasper's hands on her shoulders, her face agitated and confused. I could only imagine what it was like for her, to be in a potentially dangerous situation and having the one thing you relied on to assure you it would all be alright not working. I guessed that her outward expression was only half of what she was feeling inside.

“Rosalie isn't happy with me, is she?” I whispered to Edward.

He pursed his lips. “She's more frustrated with herself actually. The jealousy is there of course, but really, she's focused on herself more than you right now.”

I sighed. “I'm going to talk to her later.”

“If that's what you want...” he shrugged.

Alice broke away from Jasper then, sprinting across the space between us and grabbing me in a bone-crushing hug.

“Thank god you're alright.” she said, sounding slightly calmer than she looked.

“Alice,” I gasped, “Too... tight.”

She released me instantly, looking sheepish. “Sorry, it's just that... well... I’ve been going out of my mind worrying about you Bella.” She glared at Edward then and he sighed.

“I know, I know, I’m an idiot. Can you blame me?”

Alice just kept glaring.

Emmet laughed loudly, alerting me to the fact that the others had reached us. Esme pulled me in for one of her soft, motherly, yet somehow incredibly fierce hugs.

“Congratulations darling.” she whispered in my ear. I smiled. Well, that was one person, at least, who approved of my decision.

“Thank you Esme.” I whispered back, squeezing her gratefully.

“Come on, let's get you home,” Carlisle said, putting an arm around my shoulders. “I'm sure Bella would appreciate a chance to freshen up a little, and you can tell us all about your time on the island.”

Emmet snickered and Edward shot him a warning glare. To my surprise, Rosalie reached up and smacked him round the head.

“Get your mind out of the gutter Em.” she hissed, her expression murderous.

Emmet looked an odd combination of chagrined and surprised, and I felt my own eyes widen slightly.

Rosalie turned on her heel and began to stalk towards the parking lot. Emmet hurried after her, already stuttering apologies, and the rest of us followed. No one said a word.

Edward’s sleek black Aston Martin was still in the long-stay parking lot where we had left it, so once he retrieved the keys we were on our way, following behind the others in the Mercedes and the Volvo.

It was early afternoon by the time we got home, the sun shining weakly behind the clouds and a misty, clammy feel to the air. Even after the glorious heat and sunshine of Isle Esme, the cool, fresh atmosphere of Forks felt wonderful; like home. It felt suddenly more significant to be entering the Cullen house, because, for the first time, I was not just a temporary guest. I was family now; this was my home too. It was strange, but also so right, to unpack my clothes into Edward’s closet, to start spreading my belongings through his room, to litter the empty counter of his bathroom with my shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, body wash; all the things he had never seen before, finally open to him.

Despite all our time together, there were still things I was shy about, things he was too much of a gentleman to pry into. He had never seen into the wash bag I carried to and from the bathroom every night at Charlie's. He had never dug through every corner of my room to find all the little knock-knacks hidden there, some dating right back to my birth.

Clearing out my room with Alice the week before the wedding had unearthed two old pacifiers, a teething ring, and countless collages, models, shapeless clay 'bowls' and other assorted elementary school art projects brought to show to Charlie over the years I had stayed there in the summer. Of course, most of the baby stuff had been left behind after Renee’s abrupt departure from Forks, or thrown out by Charlie, but there were some newer things – bits of jewellery, night clothes... underwear – that my modesty had not let me reveal to Edward before, which were now on display, thanks to us sharing a space. He had access to everything that was mine, as I could see all that was his. It was a daunting prospect, but one that we would have to face. I was surprised how easily I could do it, the ease with which I put my underwear in a drawer with his, and left my razor in the shower, and slid a box of tampons – just in case – into the back of the bathroom cupboard. It made me that much more certain that Edward and I belonged together; our two lives merged so seamlessly into one. We truly were compatible in every way.

Edward came up behind me as I finished stacking my books on one of his shelves. The CDs that had previously occupied the space sat on the floor at my feet, kept carefully in order.

“You can take more space if you want Bella. I need to spring-clean my music collection anyway.” he said, wrapping his arms around my waist. His hands came to rest on the bump between my hips – which had definitely grown since I first felt it, enough for me to notice.

I smiled. “That's alright. I’ve finished now, and I can always clear more space if I need it.”

He chuckled. “Yes, you can. This is your room now as well as mine, and you can do whatever you want with it.”

I sighed and leaned back into him, my hands resting over his. “We'll have to find a space for him too,” I mused. “Perhaps we'll have to move sooner than we thought.”

“There's a guest bedroom across the hall,” Edward said in a placating tone, “I'm sure Esme won't mind converting it into a nursery for us.”

I sighed again happily, imagining all the possibilities. I’d never thought of myself as an interior designer, per se, but I found the prospect of decorating a nursery for my baby immensely exciting. Perhaps Alice and Esme were wearing off on me.

“Come on love,” Edward said, turning me around and pulling on my hands. “Carlisle sent me to fetch you for a check-up. He has everything ready.”

I smiled and followed him as he led me out of our room and downstairs to Carlisle’s study. It was unrecognisable from the last time I was here. Space had been cleared in the center of the room for a hospital bed and several humming machines. Carlisle was cleaning his hands with an anti-bacterial scrub, and he smiled at us in welcome.

“Hello there you two,” he said cordially, clearly in doctor mode. “Are we ready to get started?”

I nodded, beginning to feel the anticipation building in the pit of my stomach. Edward squeezed my hand gently. “We're ready.”

“Alright then,” Carlisle moved to the bed and patted the mattress. “Jump up here Bella, and we'll get started.”

I walked over to him and climbed carefully onto the bed. Edward helped me lay back against the pillows, then took my hand again and sat beside me in the chair from Carlisle’s desk.

I sat calmly while Carlisle asked questions, took measurements, listened to my heart and lungs with a stethoscope he didn't need, and took my blood pressure. I relaxed bit by bit under the influence of his gentle hands and calm bedside manner. I was almost falling asleep – again – when he pulled one of the machines closer and took out a tube of pale blue gel. I got excited then, knowing what was coming; but I stayed still as Edward raised my shirt above the bump. The coldness of the gel made me jump as Carlisle squeezed some onto my stomach, which made Edward chuckle softly as he sat down and took my hand once again. He seemed determined to have some part of us touching at all times. I turned to smile at him, and our eyes locked together. It was as if nothing but us existed in the whole world as we waited with baited breath for what was to come.

There was a gentle pressure against my stomach as Carlisle touched it with the little wand and began to move it around. I felt the baby kick the spot softly and giggled, which made Edward’s smile grow.

Then I heard it. A low quick thumping, slightly distorted by the machinery, but unmistakable for what it was.

A heartbeat.

A thrill went through me as I heard for the first time the sound that Edward had been hearing since before we left the island. Tears welled in my eyes as I listened to my baby's heart beating, strong and vital and so very real.

“Hmm,” Carlisle hummed. “Interesting.”

I looked up at him, worried by the tone of his voice. My wide smile slipped into a frown, and I felt Edward squeeze my hand, whether out of nervousness or a desire to reassure me, I didn't know.

My eyes went to the screen of the ultrasound machine, and I gasped.

The screen was showing nothing but a round silver shape that pulsed slightly in time with the heartbeat. It shimmered and glinted metallically, like it was made of liquid steel.

“What is that?” I whispered, finally finding my voice.

“I don't know,” Carlisle murmured. “I've never seen anything like it before.”

“Do you have any idea what it could be? Any at all?” Edward asked, his voice almost desperate with his need for confirmation from his father; the one person he always trusted to help and comfort him when he needed it most.

Carlisle shook his head. “Never. Never anything like this. I would guess from the shape that it may be the amniotic sac, but that doesn't explain why we can't see through it. Unless...”

He paused, contemplating, then moved the little wand from my stomach and placed it on his own arm. The same silvery sheen covered the whole screen, even brighter without the human skin and flesh in the way.

Carlisle nodded to himself. “I suspected that might be the answer. It seems the child is protected by a material of the same composition as vampire skin.” He began packing up the ultrasound machine. “I don't think we're going to get much more out of this, but I’ll want to check you over again tomorrow.”

I nodded and let Edward wipe the gel off my stomach while Carlisle finished packing up the machine, then sat up and jumped down from the bed.

Edward held my hand as we walked back to his... our bedroom. I could feel the tension in his grip as he processed all the new information.

“Hey,” I said softly, pulling him to sit on the bed with me.

He fell heavily, although I had only gently tugged on his arm, and flopped down onto his back with a huff. I curled myself against his side brushing my hand through his hair.

“Talk to me,” I whispered. “Don't shut me out.”

Edward sighed, turning his head to stare despondently into my eyes.

“I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you feel left out, Bella. But this is just one more uncertainty, one more thing standing in our way.” He shook his head. “It's that same fear again – the fear of the unknown – and I wish I could get rid of it, for your sake. Being afraid... it makes me feel so weak. I have to be strong... you need me to be strong.”

His voice was steadily edging towards sobbing, and he seemed to be speaking more to himself than me; his eyes were locked on the ceiling. I kissed his neck softly.

“You don't have to be anything but what you are Edward. I know you're afraid; most first time fathers are. What you're feeling is completely natural, and nothing to be ashamed of.”

I pulled his chin down, forcing his tormented eyes to meet mine. “I'm not afraid Edward.” I said, repeating my words from our wedding night. “Sure, it would be nice to see our baby like other couples do, but to be honest, hearing that heartbeat was enough; more than enough.”

My hand moved from his chin to his cheek, stroking softly. “You can't always be the strong one. This – us – it's never going to work unless we both help each other, and support each other. You need to see that it's okay for you to lean on me every once in a while.”

Edward sighed and closed his eyes. I watched as each part of him, one by one, slumped forward in defeat. His arms wrapped tightly around me, and he pressed his face into my chest. There was a beat of silence before he began to sob pitifully into my shirt.

I had never seen him cry before, and, as much as it unnerved me, I was glad he was letting himself go; releasing all the pent up emotion that he kept hidden for my sake. I held him to me, stroking his hair and cooing softly to him. I didn't say any words, knowing he would not hear them, but I hoped my voice would sooth him, if only a little bit.

I don't know how long we lay there, but eventually he raised his eyes to mine again.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “I won't be so scared again.”

I kissed his forehead, smiling. “Any time. You can come to me for anything.”

“I love you.” Edward said, smiling up at me with undisguised adoration.

“I love you too,” I replied, smiling back. “And I’m going to tell you that everyday, whenever I think you need to hear. Never doubt that I love you, Edward. Never think you are not loved.”

He leaned up to kiss me, all his love and passion flowing out of him, through his lips and into mine, and I returned each feeling with one of my own. It was like a conversation, speaking without words, communicating only through the movement of our lips and the breath that we shared.

After a while, Edward pulled away with a sigh.”I need to speak to Carlisle. He wants to know everything Nahuel and Huilen told us, to see if there's anything he can do. Will you be alright while I’m gone?”

I rolled my eyes at his unnecessary concern; as if I couldn't find something to occupy my time for however long he would be talking to his father.

“Yes Edward, I’ll be fine.” I quipped, sarcasm evident in my tone. Then I became more serious. “I still have to talk to Rosalie anyway. The sooner I get that conversation over with, the better for everyone.”

He nodded and helped me up, before dotting one last kiss on my lips and vanishing into thin air; the only evidence of his departure was the bedroom door, which stood wide open when it had been closed. I shook my head and went to find my sister-in-law.